Healing family patterns Part 2

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My favourite film at the moment is  Nappily Ever After where the lead character was living a life based upon her mother’s expectations of how to look in the corporate world, which consisted of very straightened hair and a token spouse.  Eventually, the lead character breaks away from her familial constraints and work pressures to find the love she deserves and with the hair style she wants ie a Bald head (god forbid).   Is the problem of not being or looking good enough for your family or parents fiction?  No, this happens more often than not (especially in the black community). Family demands and expectation rule our lives consciously or unconsciously and are one of the main reasons many of us are suffering from Mental health conditions more than ever before.

The problem or ‘hold’ of family patterns is that they are entrenched deeply in guilt, and we may be conscious or unconscious of this.  Many of the places where we are challenged as human beings are around the relationships that have affected our childhood.

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From a young age many of were and are Empaths, however within our families we were often seen as too sensitive, we cannot blame our families for this title because they were either too busy and untrained in emotional literacy to even consider another person's needs and understand the condition of being an empath.

This does not help us though, does it?

The impact of our parent’s childhood is also embedded in our consciousness and we are still trying to work through that many years later.

Our mothers did not have time to journal, reflect and read a book that would give them insight into their suppressed rage, instead they had to shut up and keep the family together because “women did not speak their mind” In the meantime, the sensitive children internalises the rage and bitterness and anger, and cue the conditions that reflect no sweetness in life or heatbreak such as High blood pressure and Diabetes.

Reflection mjfontaine 2018

Reflection mjfontaine 2018

We deserve better but not to be bitter, we deserve healing, we also deserve boundaries to protect ourselves.

We have to do the work to heal the family patterns that are affecting your life, that is attracting Narcissists and abusive relationships or any kind be the peaceful and brave warrior you were chosen to heal this dynamic for a reason.

How to start Healing.

Start Therapy

Despite the stigma in the black community around mental health, deep rooted family issues cannot be resolved through reading books or social media alone so this is at the top of the healing tree. One needs to enlist a trained profession to help untangle the complex family patterns, beliefs and behaviours that are present in our lives.

Other tools to help you research the type of support you need.

  • Read a book about Toxic families such as Dr Christiane Northrup’s book Dodging Energy Vampires and Family Matters by Robin Skynner

  • Listen to a Podcast - You can look up keywords on Itunes such as Family systems or Family therapy.

  • Reiki healing with distance symbols

  • Jade Egg / Yoni egg exercises to help heal any sexuality issues (best worked in conjunction with any other Therapy).

Want to know more ? Sign up here to receive emails regarding Healing Family patterns for updates on my work and to get my free reading list pdf of family healing books.

Book a Session with Me




Mindful Menopause/Wild Women

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I am seeing a lot of women who are walking around hot sweatly, thinning hair, tired and at their wit's end.  This is the role of the Menopause.

The situation though is that this could be one of the most creative times of a woman’s life but many women are experiencing severe discomfort with the Menopause. I wonder if the level of discomfort during the change has to do with many women trying to function in this very Patriarchal and aggressive western world. Being Peri menopausal I only have symptoms when I am doubting myself or processing a pattern or belief that is familial, and my symptoms come up in the form of heat disappear within in a minute . Fuzzy thinking does happen to me at times, but only comes when I am feeling stressed (which is infrequent because I have a no-nonsense attitude in my life to bullshit and ‘settling‘ in challenging relationships, jobs and friendships). 

So the best option for anybody during this time is to chill out, be present, and stop running on the treadmill because this is a time of rebirth, you are now setting a new path for yourself. This is the time the Body Computer is opening up to becoming Sovereign. (another post on that later) 

Your body is becoming rich with wisdom, and authenticity, but patriarchy states that you are an angry woman on the edge (I believe that is the view of Western / White Male’s patriarchal belief system that wants women to be subservient and well behaved, whilst they desire the women who is full of passion and fire).  Menopause is a time for women to own and understand they have the answers and access to complimentary methods that does work.

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How to navigate the next stage of your life during the Menopause.

I have included a few points to help you on your journey, do not forget to subscribe to my email here so that I can send you the Womb Wisdom free PDF with some more resources on this subject.

  • Be wild, be raw, be truthful, but honour your spirit , and listen to the Triple Goddess ( Intuition) Live as a fully powerful woman in control and acceptance of all her moods.

  • As I type this powerful download I feel my ovaries stirring after a dormant time.  Never in my life have I feel so activated whilst writing. Our body responds to our internal dialogue and external environment so that we can navigate our life accordingly.

  • Love yourself even through your bad days, because your emotions it will work with you in the best way possible.

  • Take that class, change your jobs (yes) and reconsider those toxic relationships.

  • Read up on menopause one place to start is Dr Christian Northrup’s book The Wisdom of Menopause.  There is also a great interview with her and Dr Kelly Brogan MD   click here

And Finally….

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Work with me, your Spiritual Doula.

I want to invite you to work with me during this powerful time of transition and insight. My Creative Healing Method programme will create a full blueprint for you at this next stage of your life. Consider this a reinvention of your life.

Healing and Herbs.

Healing sessions for women.


I am now working alongside a herbalist for a limited time for my Womb Healing, and Coaching sessions. 

I was asked by Herbalist Sophia to sit in my sessions so that she could observe the practice of an established therapist.   I jumped at the chance of working with a Herbalist because of my own love of herbs and secondly, the effect herbs have on the body especially the Uterus and general health of women.  I also feel the energy of two therapists will enhance the healing within a much quicker timeline.



Healing the womb is a revolutionary act.


Taking time for womb healing automatically makes one feel whole again and able to deal with the stresses of life. 

My Womb healing sessions will enable you to have more control over any Gynaecological conditions you are currently experiencing. I cannot create miracles (well according to my clients I can), but I can get you to feel, sleep and think better about your health and your body.

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The Creative Healing Method Coaching programme  
will help you heal from that breakup or give you the confidence to set up that business or connect to your intuition?  This programme will bring more clarity and help you set good boundaries which is always weaker when we are experiencing womb issues.  
(basically, it is going from 1 to 20 in a short space of time). 

Don't take my word for it here are some examples.

R wanted to travel, feel more connected within her self after nine months of the creative healing method she travelled to an exotic location and is now more in her power.

J, wanted more connection and confidence, more boundaries and within six months she felt much clearer and secure in her emotions.  After a year working with me, J was able to set boundaries within several relationships and establish a self-care plan for herself that managed her anxiety levels. 

B had a chronic womb issue which has improved within three months.     
Lastly, T was feeling very isolated and within 6 months she had a job, her own space and is in the process of expanding her life's work and offer.


If any of this speaks to you then book a discovery call with me.

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Marilyn x 




Grief Notes 2

I remember when I lost my friend in 2012 and a client did not want to see me because I was grieving. At the time I resigned myself to the fact that maybe I needed to heal myself and be right. But no my work and sessions do not function like that because I am not a Counsellor but since my father transitioned my work is more powerful, transforming and sometimes raw. I feel is the high level of transparency that allows me to just open and oh so present. That is what grief does it makes one so present that miracles can happen.

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